One time a good Mom friend said to me, do you ever feel like just getting in the car and driving to Mexico?
At the time I was somewhat taken aback. I was pretty happy with our family dynamic and it was not a desire that I felt at that moment. Soon thereafter, driving to Mexico sounded very appealing and became my go-to euphemism for leaving it all behind.
As mothers we are the hub of the wheel. Every emotional aspect of family life seems to connect to us, even when we have a contributing partner and a happy home life. It feels like something we cannot or are not permitted to escape. For my friend, her home life, albeit loving, had waylaid her career and passions and kept her doing and feeling less than she was capable of. For me, I carried my family’s strong emotions like a mantel on my shoulders weighing me down.
So I worked hard to find a way to get to Mexico. For me that included a weekly yoga class where no one counted on me for dinner or company; closing the door to read for a hour; my own therapy; walks with friends; maintaining an exercise routine; sitting in my car after my long commute for 10 minutes to decompress from the heaviness of my day; and putting certain tasks on my spouse’s plate that I tried my best not to ask about or follow up with.
It was hard. These things are not easy to do and some require a bit more support than others, but all caregivers need a drive to Mexico. My hope for you is you find a way – small or large – to make that happen for yourself.